Author Unknown

In a pioneers cabin out west, so they say a big black grizzly came calling one day.  He setted himself on the hearth and began to lap the contents of a 10 gallon can of milk and potatoes an excellent meal, he looked all around to see what else he could steal.

The lord of the mansion awoke from his sleep and hearing the racket just ventured to take a peek, out in the kitchen to see what was there and was scared to behold a big grizzly bear.  He screamed in alarm to his slumbering wife, there's a bar in the kitchen as big as a cow.  A what?  Why a bar!  Well murder him then!  Yes, Betty I will if you'll first venture in. 

So Betty leaps up and the poker she seizes while her man shut the door and against it he squeezes.  Her man through the key hole kept shouting with - Well done my brave Betty, now hit him again, now poke with the poker, and poke his eyes out.  So at last with rapping and poking poor betty alone, at last lay Sir Bruin straightened out on the floor, as dead as a stone.

Now when the old man saw the bear was no more, he ventured to poke his nose through the door.  He hastened the neighbors the story to tell of the wonderul thing's  that moring had befell.  Oh, yes, come and see, all the neighbors have seen it, come and see what we did, me and Betty we did it. 

Neddies Thanksgiving Visit

I tummed to see my gramdma one cold Thanksgiving day.  I shooked and freezed and chattered all along the way.  When I got there grandma was knitting, so i tried to knit, dot ahold of the wrong thread and undid every bit.  Next day I tried to tackle a piggy for a horse, I tumbled int he pig pen, wow wasn't grandma cross.  I sure I wasn't to blame cuz my new dress was white, if my mama had made it pig colar t'wouldn't of showed a mite.

My grandmas dot a brick room filled with pans of milk.  One day I let in Pussy, she's est as soft as silk.  Pussy likes the fick cream the best of anyfing, I set her down aside a pan, you'd auta heard he sing.  Sometimes pussy's naughty, one day she catched a mouse.  She chased and teased and bitted it all around the house.  I hit her wif a tata masha everytime she'd turn, I got away poor mousie and hid him in the churn.  Now who'd dever fought that cream would drownd!  I faught twas only river's.  But when my grandma churned next day, dat mouse was drowned to shivers. 

They fed the butter to the pig and putted me to bed, and spanked poor pussy awful hard hight on her pretty head.  One day I saw a tub of milk, we kept ours in a dish, I faught was good for notten, so I tried to catch some fish.  I'd just got setted down, my feet was pretty freezed, when in tummed grandma squeeming - that fella's in my cheese!  She jumped me right out of there I tell you, right on the cold stone floor.  She called my new boots dirty and locked the cella door. 

Now I's been awful good to grandma, ain't raised a spick of dust, but I's goin home tomorra, cuz grandma sez I must.

author unknown